Sibling Differentiation during college years

Edited by Talha M. Ansari

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This blog post serves to simplify the following scholarly article by Audrey S. Schatz from the University of Massachusetts Amherst: Deidentification as a Developmental Process: A Mixed Methods Study of Emerging Adult Twins

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Introduction:

Imagine you have lived your entire life, from your first steps to your high school graduation, but mf with a “built in” best friend who shares your face, your home, and your identity. For twins, the transition to university isn’t just about choosing a path; it is a choice for their identity that lasts a lifetime. 

For decades, psychologists have wondered: Do twins try to stay together for the twin bond, or do they try to become different to escape each other’s shadows?   Research by Audrey S. Schatz at UMass Amherst suggests that it isn’t a simple answer. Instead, this process of becoming an individual, known as identification, is a healthy tool in development that actually helps twins stay connected while they grow apart.

The Background:

To understand this research, we have to look at the two traditional ways we think about twins. Throughout history, researchers looked at these main concepts:

1. Social Learning (Identification): this is the approach where twins mirror each other’s interest to stay connected. For example if one twin starts picking up a new hobby like playing basketball, the other person often joins so they can share the same world and feel like a “matching pair.”

2. De-identification (Differentiation): this is the approach where twins purposely choose different hobbies/styles so they aren’t seen as a “matching pair.” For example, if one twin joins the basketball team, the other might decide to join a band to have their own “thing” and be recognized as an individual.   

Traditionally, these were seen as total opposites. You were either a social learning twin or a deidentification twin. It was a binary choice: you could have a close relationship with your twin or you can create your own individual identity, but having both seemed untenable.

The actual research shows that these two concepts aren’t held back, but rather they go hand-in-hand. You can move to different schools, at different ends of the world, change your major to differentiate yourself (De-identification), but still use Social Learning to imitate your twin’s worth ethic or presence. The two processes worked together to create a new and improved healthy relationship for adults.

The Research Objective

During the “stress-season” transition to college, twins are forced to decide if they will become more or like one another; this story proves that choosing to be themselves (de-identification) is actually the easiest way for twins to stay emotionally intact as adults. 

The Research

The Paradigmatic Approach

The Researchers used Constructivist Grounded Theory (CGT). This is an inductive approach, meaning they had zero assumptions with the start of the research. Instead of going in and “knowing” that twins want to be different, they gathered many stories and let the “theory” emerge from actual data. 

Initial: They interviewed 40 people (20 twins) separately. This approach believes that realism is “constructed” by each individual's experience, where the researchers needed to hear each of the twins versions of the story without their sibling in the room to influence/correct them.

Middle point: How did they know they had reached enough data? In this paradigm (model used in research), you don’t stop at a random number but stop when you hit a point of saturation. In this case the point where new interviews stop giving the researchers new information and start hearing the same patterns over and over. This proves that the results are consistent and not just a fluke. 

Comparison: The researchers didn’t wait until the end of the data. As soon as they finished a twins interview, they coded it. When they did the next interview, they compared it to the first and so on. If a new “theme” popped up they would go back to earlier interviews to check if that pattern existed there as well.

Traditional researchers in the past assumed that if twins tried to be different (de-identification), it was most likely because they were just jealous of each other. They say “being unlike the other” as a negative reaction.

However, this study's data proved the opposite: Twins branch out so they can grow independently without losing full individuality. By carving out their own “space” (like different majors and paths), they actually protect their relationship because they don’t have to have this sense of rivalry that may have been developed over time.

Measuring Closeness

While the interviews gave the researchers their stories, they also needed to measure the quality of a twins relationship. To do this, it required two scientific processes:

1) The Quantitative Layer (ARSQ)

The researchers used the Adult Sibling Relationship Questionnaire (ASRQ) for a check up on each twin relationship. The researchers used two pillars to break down closeness:

• Warmth: This measures the “support” aspect in the relationship. For example: How much do you talk to your sibling about serious scenarios, like college and the future?

• Conflict: This measures the “competition” aspect in the relationship. For example: How much does your sibling annoy you?

By using this survey, the researchers were able to prove that twins who choose to be their own persons (de-identification) don’t necessarily have more disputes. If anything, many twins who moved far away for college reported high “Warmth” scores, which proves that physical distance or the choice of different career paths can make a twins relationship more healthy. 

2) The Dyadic Approach

Instead of looking at 40 random people, the researchers treated each pair of twins as one, called a dyad.

After the individual interviews, the researchers used a Coders’ Questionnaire to see both twins' answers side-by-side. This was a system used to double check if twins agreed on each other's level of closeness. This dyadic approach allowed the research team to prove that a relationship is a two-way street, and both twins usually agree on their “identities’ for their relationship to stay strong.

Important Note:

A vital piece of this research is that it did not look through the files of the twins’ childhoods. The researchers had no way to look at how they played together as kids or who got better grades in school. The study focused primarily on the emerging adulthood phase (18-22). By focusing on transitioning to the college phase, the researchers were able to prove at this specific moment in their lives that the primary trigger then forces twins to decide: Do twins become more alike to be secure, or less alike to grow up?

The Findings

RQ#1: The drive to be “Less Alike”

The study found that 75% of twins prioritized differentiation. They viewed going into college as the best time to be less like their twin. They didn't see this as a way to betray their long time best friend, but a necessary step to become “their own person” in the eyes of the world.

RQ#2: Is de-indication a developmental process?

The results showed that making the choice to be different from your twin is built on hate. Instead, twins who chose different paths often reported less conflicts in the relationship. By being less alike, they removed the comparison that people may have had on them. If they aren’t the same major, nobody can ask “Why did your twin pursue medicine and you choose music?”

RQ#3: Sibling relationship quality

Identical twins in the study were more likely to make the choice to stay “identical.” Rather than feeling the need to get away from their twin, they leaned into their similarities to build up their own characters during the stress of transitioning to college life. 

What's Next?: The Future of Twin Research

While this study gives the breakthrough of twin identity during the college years, it leaves many doors open to new questions. If choosing to be “less alike” is healthy for say 18-22 year olds, how does this strategy evolve as they hit other stages of life during adulthood?

Conclusion

The main takeaway is that for twins, transitioning to being “less alike” is a sign of health, rather than a sign of distancing. To have a high quality relationship as an adult, a twin must first learn how to be their own individual.

[insert picture of twins being happy with one another as adults]

When a twin chooses a different college, major, or a unique career path, they aren’t just “leaving” their sibling; they are creating a version of themselves that they can be prod of. This separation actually protects their relationship from toxic effects comparison has on twins. It implies that for any close match: whether twins, siblings, or even long time best friends, teh secret to staying close for a lifetime might actually be found in the action to be different from one another.